Why does it feel so lonely at the top?

Nobody really prepares you for this part.

As a senior leader, you are rarely alone. Meetings back to back, a team around you, people needing decisions. And yet there are times when you feel completely on your own with the things that matter most.

I know, because I have been there. Holding decisions I could not yet share. Carrying actions I knew would affect people. Being the one others confided in, while sometimes quietly going through my own version of the same thing.

Where the loneliness actually comes from

The loneliness rarely comes from being physically alone. It comes from the weight of it. The worry you take home. The quiet expectation that you will hold it all together, because everyone is looking to you to.

Here is what I have come to understand. That isolation is not a sign you are doing it wrong. It is built into the shape of the role, especially as you become more senior. When you are the one others rely on, fewer people think to ask how you are.

It is more common than we admit

And it does not matter how senior you are. Around 55 percent of chief executives say they experience loneliness (Forbes, June 2026), and it runs highest among first-time chief executives. It is not only at the very top either. The people we ask to hold everyone else are increasingly unsupported themselves.

If you lead an organisation, this is worth taking seriously. Gallup's State of the Global Workplace 2026 found senior leaders are lonelier and more stressed than the people they lead, and that strain affects judgement and performance. Giving your leaders a protected space to think protects their decisions as much as their wellbeing.

What changed it for me

What changed it for me was not toughening up. It was having a few people in my network I could share with, and truly be myself around. I also had a good coach.

Coaching is somewhere to think out loud, be honest about the hard parts, and feel like a person again rather than a role. It is the space I now hold for the leaders I coach, and the part they tell me they value most. Somewhere to be honest, think clearly, and leave feeling more like themselves than when they walked in.

One small thing to try this week

If any of this lands, here is one small thing to try. Notice the one thing you are carrying that no one has thought to ask you about. Then bring it to a single person you could say it out loud to. Not to fix it, simply so you are not the only one holding it. That is often where it starts to lift.

And if someone came to mind as you read this, a colleague who has gone a little quiet, or a leader you know is carrying a lot, check in on them. A simple, honest “how are you, really?” can matter more than you know.

If it feels lonely where you are right now

You are not doing it wrong, and you are not the only one. You do not have to carry it all on your own. If it would help to think it through with someone who has carried decisions like yours, that is the work I do. You can book a free, no-pressure conversation here: https://calendly.com/beccabradd-rbpeopleleadership/discovery-call

Lead from who you are.

Becca

Get in touch: beccabradd@rbpeopleleadership.co.uk

Becca Bradd is an executive and leadership coach and the founder of RB People and Leadership Advisory Ltd. She spent over twenty years in the NHS, including five at Board level as a People Director, and works with senior leaders, those stepping into executive roles, and leaders who face barriers to leadership.